By Adam Nedeff, researcher for the National Archives of Game Show History
While going through some filing cabinets filled with memos and paperwork from the CBS game shows of the 1980s, we found a marvelous document titled, “I Heard It on the Pyramid-Vine.” The authors, Jerry Martz and Tom Buchanan, were CBS audio technicians. Both of them worked many tapings of The $25,000 Pyramid and The $100,000 Pyramid. As a refresher on these shows, celebrities and contestants teamed up for a game of word association. One player had to describe a series of seven answers that their partner couldn’t see, and the partner tried to guess as many as possible in under 30 seconds.

The pressure of performing under the clock in front of a national audience was enough to turn many minds blank over the years. At some point, to entertain themselves, Martz and Buchanan began noting their favorite bad answers at the tapings they worked, usually noting the episode number for each one. In 1987, they compiled them into “I Heard It on the Pyramid-Vine” and made copies for staff, crew, and executives. The first section of the document was called “Wonderful Clues that Just Wouldn’t Work.”
- BEAVER
“Busy as a…” “…Seal.” - PRAIRIE
“Bury me not on the lone…” “…Range.” - SHRIMP
“A little crustacean is a…” “…Vegetable.” - ALL ABOARD
“A train conductor says…” “…Bye-bye!” - HARNESS
“A racehorse wears a…” “…Helmet.” - PEACOCK
“The NBC mascot is a…” “…Ostrich.” - CARDIGAN
“A sweater that buttons down the front is called a…” “…Scarf.” - HIVE
“Bees live in a…” “…Hut.” - A CLUB
“A robber knocks you out by hitting you on the head with a…” “…Jackhammer.” - TANK
“You go to a gas station to fill up your…” “…Trunk.”
The next section is from the Winner’s Circle, where one player gave a list of items, and their partner had to name the category that those items fit into.
- PLANTS
“Diffenbachia…Pathos…” “…Greek gods!” - TYPES OF CHEESE
“Edam…brie…” “…Breads!” - WHAT A WIG MIGHT SAY
“Eva Gabor is going to put me on her head again.” “…What Johnny Carson might say!” - TYPES OF TEA
“Orange pekoe…Constant Comment…” “…Cleaner.”
The next section is titled “Ridiculous Clues That Elicited the Right Answer Anyway.”
- SUBMARINE
“An underground boat with a periscope.” - A MOAT
“The thing over the alligators.”
- A SNORKEL
“The thing that sticks out of the water when you SCUBA dive…” - A PICKLE
“A dried cucumber.”
- JULIA CHILD
“She’s a television.” - A ROPE
“Very fat string.”
- LOBSTER
“A fish with claws.” - A DINOSAUR
“A rhinoceros is one.”
Hope you enjoyed a good laugh!